Messi and Lautaro Out: Argentina’s Squad Falls Apart Before Big Matches

If you thought beating Brazil and Uruguay was going to be tough, try doing it without your captain, your top striker, and if this injury curse continues, possibly your hopes and dreams.

Messi sidelined: The goat needs a nap apparently!

Leo Messi, a man who has spent his entire career defying physics, time, and the very concept of human limitations, has finally been brought down… by his own muscles. After feeling discomfort against Atlanta United, the eight-time Ballon d’Or winner underwent a scan that confirmed a “small muscle injury” in his adductor. Translation? No Messi for Argentina against Uruguay and Brazil.

Messi himself broke the news with a statement that was both professional and heartbreakingly sad:

“I really wanted to play for the national team, but a small injury means I need to rest for a bit.”

Which is Messi speak for: "I would absolutely drag my injured leg onto the pitch if they let me, but apparently, that’s frowned upon.”

Lautaro Martínez: Also out.

If losing Messi wasn’t enough, Argentina will also be without Lautaro Martínez, who’s dealing with “muscle discomfort.” (Which is just footballer code for, “If I keep pushing, I might explode.”)

Lautaro, ever the professional, assured fans he’d still be cheering for Argentina like any other fan. Which is great, except Argentina needs him on the pitch, not on the couch.

What’s Next for Argentina?

With two of their biggest attacking threats out, it’s time for the rest of the squad to step up. Julian Álvarez, Ángel Di María, and possibly some divine intervention will have to carry the Albiceleste through these crucial matches.

Messi and Lautaro may be watching from home, but let’s be honest, if Argentina somehow beats both Brazil and Uruguay without them, they’re going to have to pretend it doesn’t hurt a little.